In Times Of Joy & Pain Midwives Are There Every Step Of The Way
It is so important for a pregnant woman whether for the first time or experienced, to have a compassionate caregiver such as a caring midwife. The experience of pregnancy and childbirth can be such a positive and uplifting experience both physically and spiritually when you have an empathetic caregiver. Mothers who have their baby delivered at a birthing center, with a licensed midwife assisting the birth, come out of the experience with a sense of completeness and peacefulness despite experiencing pain and discomfort. It is a natural and healthy human experience without the coldness of a regular hospital setting but with all the latest up-to-date needs that might be essential for a healthy and normal delivery of a baby. This experience is so vital in creating a future loving and wholesome relationship between mother and baby and family as well. What a beautiful beginning to a new life for the new mom holding a healthy bouncing baby girl or boy.
Except, what happens when things do not go right? It could be that the baby is in a breech position and cannot be turned. This may require the assistance of an obstetrician who is on call for emergencies. Perhaps the mother has developed some toxicity in her blood or another complication that could cause a problematic pregnancy and/or delivery. A worse scenario is when the midwife does not detect a heartbeat during a routine checkup. Some possible causes of the ceasing of the breathing of the infant could be placental abruption which is when the placenta separates from the womb with symptoms such as bleeding or stomach pain. A more general reason for the stillbirth is a problem with the umbilical cord ranging from strangulation, or cord prolapse which is when the cord slips down the entrance to the womb early. Yet many stillbirths are unexplained.
What is more frightening for an unsuspecting young woman than for her to hear the bad news that her baby is no longer alive? In this situation more than any other there needs to be a gentle and perceptive professional by her side since this is such a challenging time of her life.
For example, the pregnant woman drives alone for her biweekly or monthly appointment depending on how far she is into her pregnancy. She could already be a month or less away from her approximate delivery date and has been going alone for these traditional exams all through her pregnancy. As the midwife exams her routinely she detects the absence of a heartbeat.
As per a birthing center, the medical staff will only except low-risk deliveries without any previous history of pregnancy complications. Midwives have all the expertise needed to deliver a healthy baby in a calm atmosphere. As always there is a OBGYN there to make sure everything runs naturally. But the peace of mind that comes when dealing with an experienced midwife by far surpasses that of a regular hospital nurse.
The critical moment is the most crucial part of a midwife’s career dealing with the delicate balance of the potential mom’s existence. How will the midwife show her concern? Will she tell the mom straight out that she believes the baby is no longer alive? Will she keep the news to herself while worrying and praying while she takes a sonogram to confirm her fears? How understanding the way the midwife or doctor behave will have a major effect on the future life of this innocent woman. (The difference between a miscarriage and a stillbirth is the following: If the baby dies before twenty-four weeks it is called a miscarriage in most countries. When the baby is delivered after twenty-four weeks it is called stillbirth.)
One mom who went through such an experience said how nice and big hearted her doctor was in breaking the news to her gently and kindly. The opposite approach could have been for the doctor to express severe concern on his face and before even saying anything to the lady in waiting she begins to shake from fear. A true professional will keep the worry off his or her face and focus on the person lying on the table.
Once the husband and wife are briefed on the status of their prospective baby, a supportive midwife will take charge of what to do next to tactfully make a horrible diagnosis livable. A hundred years ago, stillborn babies were more common than they are today. With frequent monitoring there are ways in which a baby might be saved if there is a difficulty in the pregnancy. Sometimes the potential mom will be put in the hospital on bedrest or at home. Other times if there is a true danger to the survival of the baby, labor will be induced, and the baby will be delivered early. However, once it is confirmed that the baby is no longer viable the next step is to deliver the baby and put it to rest. This crucial step in the process calls for the most levelheaded and human professional/midwife/angel that GOD has brought down to this earth for the reason alone to take this woman and her family on a journey of healing.
There are some women out there who are still of the old belief that a doctor should be a man. Some women are still adamant that they want a man in charge. In fact, during the nineteenth century, males became more acceptable in the upper classes. “Male-midwives” were becoming more popular than their female counterparts as advancements in the field of medicine, specifically obstetrics, were being handled by male doctors. By being present at the deliveries of their patients’ babies, these male doctors were assured of continued medical affiliations and dependence by these woman which was advantageous financially for these doctors.
If you look at what’s going on in medical schools today, there are thousands of women balancing marriage, children, and careers. Midwives have the distinct advantage of coming up from previous female related professions before becoming midwives. So, besides the fact that they are female, they have dealt with women many times in their medical careers. One midwife was previously a doula (someone who coaches a woman in labor) before she went on to be a fulltime midwife. Another woman was a physical therapist for many years and then went back to school to become a midwife. These women who have chosen this profession are mature individuals with empathetic life experience dealing with women in different stages of their lives.
How can an altruistic midwife help a devastated mother and father move on? Firstly, she will not whisk the baby out of the room right away. The parents are not only allowed but encouraged to remain with the baby and hold it sometimes for as long as a half hour or whenever they feel ready to part with their no longer alive infant. In the Jewish religion the baby is given a name and if it is a boy a circumcision and then buried in a special cemetery for stillborn babies. One woman mentioned to me her interpretation of the term stillborn. She divided it up into two words instead of one. “My baby was still born!” She exclaimed. “It might be dead, but it was still born in my eyes.”
This topic might seem morbid to some of you reading this but ask most psychologists and therapists who will answer you, that by talking and even writing about the experience is the way to healing. A hundred years ago the midwife may have jetted the baby out of the room so that the mother would not get attached to it. This stems from the history of earlier times where mothers unfortunately lost as many babies as they actually were privileged to mother. The times before the germ theory was introduced were hard times to have a healthy delivery. If a mom needed a cesarean delivery that could spell the end of both the mother and the baby. Today, thank goodness, if the midwife suspects a necessity of a cesarean birth there is enough time to get the woman to the hospital.
Final Words
The task of a midwife is all encompassing. She must be a mother, sister, coach and sometimes the bearer of bad news. No matter what the outcome of the birth, she is the best professional that is available to get the pregnant lady through her situation no matter what the outcome. Due to the professionalism and experience of a competent midwife and with the help from the one above most pregnancies today have a happy ending. With those that unfortunately don’t, the compassion of the midwife will help a suffering woman get through the ordeal. The very fact that the word “midwife” is the term used to describe the important work that she does reinforces the care that she gives over to her patients. The literal meaning in English as well as in Spanish, Portuguese and Latin is “with women” emphasizing how vital it is for a woman to be with another woman during delivery.
Everything in life happens for a reason including the loss of a baby. People who are fortunate enough to believe in the soul and the afterlife believe in their hearts that there is now someone up there watching them and rooting for them. Life is precious and hopefully those you love will be going through only positive experiences in and from their pregnancies. It’s a bonus to have a caring midwife there to share in it.